I remember various times in my life during which I was attempting to do meaningful things. One was when I was in college and the other when I was studying yoga for a month in Florence. Although I was surrounded with life-changing opportunities and experiences, when I look back, I now recall painfully how my addiction to food colored both of those periods in my life. Thankfully this issue is completely resolved. I simply cannot imagine the life I enjoy today if I were still lugging around that ball and chain that took the form of a food obsession.

I’ll show you what to look out for. Then I’ll show you how to have an amicable separation from food without having to get a divorce. (See below for a way for you to transform around food!)

Back to my clients. Here are the signposts I observe that I now call being married to food:

  1. All events revolve around food. Whether it is how and when to get to the train on time, to going to visit your family, your thoughts are dominated by when, where, what, and how to eat. This might include anxiety, fear, and obsessive planning.

  2. During un-food-related experiences, your thoughts still go to what you ate, or what you are going to eat. This may include feeling remorse over what you had for your last?meal, or planning on not eating something that is forbidden or?tempting.

  3. If you are honest with yourself, you rarely get really hungry. Or at least, that is not the main reason why you eat. Someone told me yesterday that now that she is committed to losing the weight that was correlated with her diagnosis of pre-diabetes, she discovered that previously her day was essentially one long meal. Feeling hungry is now part of her strategy.

  4. Food is the solution to everything, and it is also the problem for everything. One of my clients was so intent on dropping about fourteen pounds that he began to demonize food. As if it was the food’s fault that he was bulging in the middle!

  5. People who perceive food as stronger than they are. Some regard food as the playground bully. As if the food had power over them the way an abusive spouse could. And as a result, these people feel stuck in this destructive relationship.

In speaking with a client yesterday, she helped me see how she is married to food by her language. Everything was connected to food. As she described her goals in life, they were all connected to eating certain things and not eating other things in order for her to move forward. When I asked her to reframe the goals independent of food, it was very difficult for her. When I pointed this out to?her, she immediately laughed and said that was she. Guilty as charged. We came up with goals that have nothing to do with food, so that she could move her focus to other things.

Since you can’t break up with food, I suggest an amicable separation. Like a marriage that holds you back, you need a way to break free. Here is how to have an amicable separation from food without having to get a divorce.

With love and encouragement,


Rosie Bank


Board Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach

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